Thursday, September 13, 2007

There was a time when this would have bothered me.


Some people say that breast-fed babies' poop smells vaguely like fresh-baked bread. It's one of the many perks that comes with nursing your baby, along with the daily 500-calorie draw and the natural (though somewhat unpredictable) birth control.

It was this benign odor that I detected this morning as I opened my bed covers to retrieve my beautiful Ellen. It was our day for carpool so we were on kind of a tight schedule. There she was, gurgling and smiling at me like she does every morning, happy to greet the new day. However, unlike other mornings, today from the waist down she was laying in a sticky, yellow puddle. Did I forget to put her diaper on last night?? It was everywhere--beyond the standard-issue up-the-back mess that is part of new parent initiation. This was in-between-the-toes messy. It was even behind her knees.

Another time I would have panicked. Holy sh*t Batman! Get the HazMat suit, and call for back up! But today I just strategized. Okay, how can I remove her clothes and diaper and minimize further contamination? I think I need paper towels. And a squirt bottle. Going over the head with the onesie seems a little risky. I think we'd better take it down over the bum with this one. I don't know, Ellie, we might lose these jammies.

And so I calmly extricated her from the scene of the crime, cleaned her up and stripped the bed. I'm proud to say that I achieved this with nary a schmear of poo on my person. Now we had to get ready to head downstairs to resume our morning routine, albeit a now few minutes behind schedule. In the hopes that maybe the other girls had already woken themselves, I gave a warning shout from upstairs, "Time to get up!" And I got a response--yes, they're up already! But my hopes were quickly dashed.
"MUMMYYYYY!! Sarah got into the trash last night and dragged it under our beds!!"
Serenity now.

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