Just Don't Tie Me to a Pole

I think I've just about exhausted all of the natural labor induction methods out there. Today after my final acupuncture session, my practitioner tried one more thing on me: gua sha . The theory is that there could be a blockage of chi somewhere in my baby-making section and gua sha might get me unblocked. Can't hurt. Well, actually it did hurt a little.
There are a few I never intended to try, though. Castor oil, for one. Castor oil (or mineral oil, vegetable oil) is a powerful laxative. The spasm of the colon can sometimes trigger sympathetic contractions in the uterus. Can you picture the scene in the delivery room?? Not worth it to me. And these, from www.medicinenet.com:
When a pregnant Plains Indian woman was near term and showed no sign of going into labor, tribe members would tie her to a rock in an open field and stage a mock "attack," pulling up their horses only at the very last minute, in hopes of inducing labor. The Pilgrims, for their part, would stand women whose babies were late against a pole, strap them to it, and pound the pole up and down against the ground -- apparently hoping to shake the baby loose.