Karmic Torture?

I'm starting to take this delay personally. Could it be some kind of freaky payback for all the times that I have been late in my life? Am I now giving back all of the time I took from other people when I made them wait for me? Well, I have to say, I think I understand your pain now, and I am truly, deeply remorseful.
However, I have to be getting close to square with you all at this point. Adding up all of the days late my births have been, we are over 500 hours. I think I might even have a credit by now!

P.S. I told you not to call. I won't answer my phone. I love you all, and I know you mean well, but believe me, you don't want to talk to me right now. I'm not nice (Just ask my poor mother. In fact, call her up if you want an update.).